[Fortunately, he's in professional mode, and so the snappy 'so you did intend it all the other times?' only comes to mind briefly before being dismissed. But he's not entirely sure how to answer the question, because although he knows the answer it's may not be best for him to say it. Usually, keeping his feelings out of the session is the correct way to go about things--counseling is about the patient--but in this situation he needs to weigh benefit versus cost.
So it takes several seconds before he replies, finally having decided that answering will lead into another useful topic to explore, and so it's worth doing so in this instance.]
What concerned me is likely not an issue that usually factors into your problem with intimidating people.
[Since it's something much more subtle and specific.]
It was the way you spoke about what methods you'd go to.
[And doing so in order to protect people, which by extension asks the question of who's worth protecting and which, incidentally, had been the same thing that has most bothered him at the ball. Then, once again, it had been a question of methods in the conversation about Sato that had been a major problem.]
[That's not the answer she expects. Maketh stares at him, trying to determine where her flaw was.] Why? I was perfectly honest about what we would do and had done in the past.
[Should she have lied? Perhaps that would have been better.]
[He's very hesitant to go down this line of questioning, because he needs to keep this focused back on her, but she's asking for clarification and so this is a borderline case of appropriate to answer.]
You were. The issue was the practicality with which you spoke; there was no sense of the decisions having been difficult morally or emotionally, even if they were necessary.
[Even justified violence in self-defense usually leaves the individual with a sense of guilt, and if not guilt--which is fine--then sadness it had to come to such a resolution.]
[So she shouldn't have lied, but he didn't like hearing the truth either?
Maketh frowns.]
What I want is irrelevant. There was no peaceful solution. Either I came up with a way to incapacitate him or he'd kill my men. Of course I would have preferred a peaceful outcome. But that was not possible and so I reacted accordingly.
[Well, not the greatest response in the world, but it also could've been a lot worse. He is, at least, becoming more and more convinced that Maketh does have the capacity to care about other people and isn't harming anyone just because she wants to, but she also doesn't seem to have the inhibitions that would stop her from resorting to a violent solution when other options are possible but more difficult.
And he still doesn't know exact details of whatever happened with Will, which is an issue that causes him some serious concern.]
It isn't irrelevant. Why you take a course of action is just as important as the action itself.
[He doesn't think they're going to get anywhere discussing the specific incident with Sato, at least not at the moment, so he's trying to steer the subject to be a little more general.]
It's even more important in a situation that is tense or difficult; what someone does in a time of stress says more about who they are than what they do when things are easy.
But okay, focus, think of a better way to go about this that she'll understand.]
Emotions don't cloud judgment, they inform it. What you feel is usually instinctive, and much quicker to come to you than conscious thoughts are; how you feel about a situation can actually help you decide the right course of action in some situations. In others how you feel can help stop you from making wrong choices, particularly when the most effective plan isn't the right one.
[Maketh tips her head to the side. She's trying to understand but feels herself getting frustrated every time she says something perfectly sensible and finds it rejected.] Surely you know that instincts can be wrong. Mu judgement must be clear or I will make a mistake.
If you have overlooked something, then your protocol is flawed.
[She pauses. Watches him for a long moment.]
Morality is situational, in my experience. Your superior decides what is just. If you disagree, you are weak or your protocol is flawed. And if you are the superior, then what is just is what allows you to achieve your objective. I want these people to live. That is my objective.
[There are so many things he could say about that, and ways he could pull it apart and refute each piece. But instead, there's a more succinct response that ties back into their earlier discussion.]
This reasoning is why your methods concerned me. Basing what is wrong or right, and acceptable or not, upon one's own desires and goals is inherently dangerous.
[He only answers it because he isn't sure if Maketh is seriously asking the question; otherwise he would've ignored it completely. As far as her response, he sees a particular line of questioning that might be useful.]
[Right, okay, at least she answered how he expected, which lets him ask the main question he's trying to get to.]
And how do you decide they deserve to live?
[She'd told him before, at the ball, but he isn't entirely sure how much of the conversation she even remembers and it's best to have her reasons clearly laid out again anyway. As far as the Lothal part, he'll keep that in mind for later.]
It doesn't change what I did for the Empire. I don't expect it to. I can't make it right and I cannot change what has already been done. So I will protect these people until I cannot anymore. Someone ought to.
What you do here matters just as much as anything you did or will do elsewhere.
[He believes that and can say it genuinely; if he's going to believe this place is what it's said to be, as opposed to being a hallucination or dream, then it matters. All anyone ever really has is their here and now, and that's just as true in this place.]
[It's said quite simply. The dead don't care if you feel sorry for what you did, if you spend years swallowing down the nightmares because of it, or if you simply forget in move on. They're still dead.]
I'm not looking for redemption, or anything sentimental like that. I know what I am. I only want to do right by these people, in this place.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 03:19 pm (UTC)So it takes several seconds before he replies, finally having decided that answering will lead into another useful topic to explore, and so it's worth doing so in this instance.]
What concerned me is likely not an issue that usually factors into your problem with intimidating people.
[Since it's something much more subtle and specific.]
It was the way you spoke about what methods you'd go to.
[And doing so in order to protect people, which by extension asks the question of who's worth protecting and which, incidentally, had been the same thing that has most bothered him at the ball. Then, once again, it had been a question of methods in the conversation about Sato that had been a major problem.]
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 03:42 pm (UTC)[Should she have lied? Perhaps that would have been better.]
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Date: 2017-05-13 04:10 pm (UTC)You were. The issue was the practicality with which you spoke; there was no sense of the decisions having been difficult morally or emotionally, even if they were necessary.
[Even justified violence in self-defense usually leaves the individual with a sense of guilt, and if not guilt--which is fine--then sadness it had to come to such a resolution.]
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 04:16 pm (UTC)I don't understand. They were not difficult because they were necessary. Should I have lied?
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Date: 2017-05-13 04:32 pm (UTC)[But figuring out how to explain this is not easy, and he's not sure she'd understand anyway, so he tries a slightly different question.]
Do you wish there could've been anther outcome? Or hope that, in the future, conflicts can be resolved peacefully?
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Date: 2017-05-13 04:39 pm (UTC)Maketh frowns.]
What I want is irrelevant. There was no peaceful solution. Either I came up with a way to incapacitate him or he'd kill my men. Of course I would have preferred a peaceful outcome. But that was not possible and so I reacted accordingly.
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 04:57 pm (UTC)And he still doesn't know exact details of whatever happened with Will, which is an issue that causes him some serious concern.]
It isn't irrelevant. Why you take a course of action is just as important as the action itself.
[He doesn't think they're going to get anywhere discussing the specific incident with Sato, at least not at the moment, so he's trying to steer the subject to be a little more general.]
It's even more important in a situation that is tense or difficult; what someone does in a time of stress says more about who they are than what they do when things are easy.
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 05:07 pm (UTC)[What is wrong with that?]
If I am a good officer, my personal feelings will not factor into the outcome at all. Emotions slow things down, cloud judgement. They're not useful.
[And she wants to be a good officer, Imperial or not.]
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 05:17 pm (UTC)But okay, focus, think of a better way to go about this that she'll understand.]
Emotions don't cloud judgment, they inform it. What you feel is usually instinctive, and much quicker to come to you than conscious thoughts are; how you feel about a situation can actually help you decide the right course of action in some situations. In others how you feel can help stop you from making wrong choices, particularly when the most effective plan isn't the right one.
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 05:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 05:30 pm (UTC)[Which is incredibly important in making a decision.]
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 05:39 pm (UTC)[She pauses. Watches him for a long moment.]
Morality is situational, in my experience. Your superior decides what is just. If you disagree, you are weak or your protocol is flawed. And if you are the superior, then what is just is what allows you to achieve your objective. I want these people to live. That is my objective.
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 05:48 pm (UTC)This reasoning is why your methods concerned me. Basing what is wrong or right, and acceptable or not, upon one's own desires and goals is inherently dangerous.
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 05:57 pm (UTC)[Except that doesn't seem to be what he's saying, exactly.]
I am not doing this for personal gain.
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 06:00 pm (UTC)[He only answers it because he isn't sure if Maketh is seriously asking the question; otherwise he would've ignored it completely. As far as her response, he sees a particular line of questioning that might be useful.]
Why are you doing it, then?
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 06:09 pm (UTC)[She pauses.]
Most of them. Not Sato. But the others I can protect. I was meant to protect people on Lothal and I failed. I will not fail here.
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 06:11 pm (UTC)And how do you decide they deserve to live?
[She'd told him before, at the ball, but he isn't entirely sure how much of the conversation she even remembers and it's best to have her reasons clearly laid out again anyway. As far as the Lothal part, he'll keep that in mind for later.]
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 06:25 pm (UTC)I decided before I knew them. It doesn't change anything. Not really. I just wanted to do one good thing here.
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 06:32 pm (UTC)What do you mean? What doesn't change anything?
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 06:39 pm (UTC)[She meets his eyes briefly.]
It doesn't change what I did for the Empire. I don't expect it to. I can't make it right and I cannot change what has already been done. So I will protect these people until I cannot anymore. Someone ought to.
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 06:46 pm (UTC)[He believes that and can say it genuinely; if he's going to believe this place is what it's said to be, as opposed to being a hallucination or dream, then it matters. All anyone ever really has is their here and now, and that's just as true in this place.]
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 06:52 pm (UTC)[It's said quite simply. The dead don't care if you feel sorry for what you did, if you spend years swallowing down the nightmares because of it, or if you simply forget in move on. They're still dead.]
I'm not looking for redemption, or anything sentimental like that. I know what I am. I only want to do right by these people, in this place.
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 07:01 pm (UTC)[Again, he's filing away all the rest of that, but he doesn't want to get too off-track right now.]
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 07:02 pm (UTC)[Maketh frowns.]
It seems my way is wrong. I don't understand why.
no subject
Date: 2017-05-13 07:06 pm (UTC)[And now that they're refocused on that, he can ask the same question he asked earlier but phrased a little differently.]
What criteria do you use to decide if an individual is someone you want to protect?
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