mismanagement | IC Contact Post [Hadriel]

[This had been going so well.

But okay, focus, think of a better way to go about this that she'll understand.]

Emotions don't cloud judgment, they inform it. What you feel is usually instinctive, and much quicker to come to you than conscious thoughts are; how you feel about a situation can actually help you decide the right course of action in some situations. In others how you feel can help stop you from making wrong choices, particularly when the most effective plan isn't the right one.

[Maketh tips her head to the side. She's trying to understand but feels herself getting frustrated every time she says something perfectly sensible and finds it rejected.] Surely you know that instincts can be wrong. Mu judgement must be clear or I will make a mistake.

Of course, instinct can be wrong. But purely objective logic can be too, if you've missed something, and pure logic also ignores morality.

[Which is incredibly important in making a decision.]

If you have overlooked something, then your protocol is flawed.

[She pauses. Watches him for a long moment.]

Morality is situational, in my experience. Your superior decides what is just. If you disagree, you are weak or your protocol is flawed. And if you are the superior, then what is just is what allows you to achieve your objective. I want these people to live. That is my objective.

[There are so many things he could say about that, and ways he could pull it apart and refute each piece. But instead, there's a more succinct response that ties back into their earlier discussion.]

This reasoning is why your methods concerned me. Basing what is wrong or right, and acceptable or not, upon one's own desires and goals is inherently dangerous.

You disagree with keeping people alive.

[Except that doesn't seem to be what he's saying, exactly.]

I am not doing this for personal gain.

No, of course not.

[He only answers it because he isn't sure if Maketh is seriously asking the question; otherwise he would've ignored it completely. As far as her response, he sees a particular line of questioning that might be useful.]

Why are you doing it, then?

Because they deserve to live.

[She pauses.]

Most of them. Not Sato. But the others I can protect. I was meant to protect people on Lothal and I failed. I will not fail here.

[Right, okay, at least she answered how he expected, which lets him ask the main question he's trying to get to.]

And how do you decide they deserve to live?

[She'd told him before, at the ball, but he isn't entirely sure how much of the conversation she even remembers and it's best to have her reasons clearly laid out again anyway. As far as the Lothal part, he'll keep that in mind for later.]

[Maketh smiles just a little.]

I decided before I knew them. It doesn't change anything. Not really. I just wanted to do one good thing here.

[That was distinctly not an answer, and doesn't make a whole lot of sense to him either.]

What do you mean? What doesn't change anything?

What I do here.

[She meets his eyes briefly.]

It doesn't change what I did for the Empire. I don't expect it to. I can't make it right and I cannot change what has already been done. So I will protect these people until I cannot anymore. Someone ought to.

What you do here matters just as much as anything you did or will do elsewhere.

[He believes that and can say it genuinely; if he's going to believe this place is what it's said to be, as opposed to being a hallucination or dream, then it matters. All anyone ever really has is their here and now, and that's just as true in this place.]

Not to the dead.

[It's said quite simply. The dead don't care if you feel sorry for what you did, if you spend years swallowing down the nightmares because of it, or if you simply forget in move on. They're still dead.]

I'm not looking for redemption, or anything sentimental like that. I know what I am. I only want to do right by these people, in this place.

If your goal is to the do the right thing for the people here, then it's important to go about it the right way, correct?

[Again, he's filing away all the rest of that, but he doesn't want to get too off-track right now.]

Yes.

[Maketh frowns.]

It seems my way is wrong. I don't understand why.

That's part of what we're working out.

[And now that they're refocused on that, he can ask the same question he asked earlier but phrased a little differently.]

What criteria do you use to decide if an individual is someone you want to protect?

If they're breathing.

[She pauses. Gives him a flat look.]

I didn't like you. But I would have kept you alive. I don't know if I like you now. If you hurt my men, maybe not. But that's different. You're breathing. You're here. So you're one of mine. Even Hux is one of mine and he really shouldn't be.

[Stars, she hates Hux. But she also understands him and that might be worse. They have drinks together some evenings.]

[Well that's... Interesting, and in a good way, but--]

You told me something very different the last time we spoke on this subject. Have your opinions changed since then?

[He needs to figure that out first, because this answer she's just given is a lot better than the last one, and he can work with it. It's also nice to hear that Maketh doesn't particularly want him dead or something, but that's another m atter.]

No, I didn't. [She gives him a flat look. People here are so strange and they rarely understand what she means.] You weren't listening. I said I protect them because they're strong. That's always been true. They're strong because they are strong, not because something has made them that way by force.

[Forget the eight or so broken bones; he's going to need a painkiller after this purely for the migraine he's getting. But he carefully controls the frustration he's starting to feel and continues, avoiding pointing out that this reason seems to directly contradict the answer of 'because they're breathing' that she'd given moments before.]

Alright. What does being strong entail to you, in this regard?

[Maketh tips her head to the side. She's never had to spell it out before. No one has ever asked and truthfully she'd thought it obvious. But now that she has to explain it aloud she finds herself hesitating.]

They don't flinch. That sounds cruel. I don't mean from me. I mean from any of this.

[She waves her hand vaguely.]

From Hadriel. They accept it as it is and still stand tall.

[Also interesting, although again different from what he'd understood her answer to be last time. Subtly different, but different.]

What about people who don't?

They're not trustworthy in an emergency.

[A blunt assessment.]

I'll protect them. But they're not allies.

[Her logic is difficult to follow and that's one of those things that usually makes him question someone's truthfulness, but in this case he thinks she believes what she's saying. Therefore the question is whether he's missing something, or whether she's convinced herself of something she hasn't truly thought out.]

So their strength is not actually a factor in whether you'll protect them or not?

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